


Call Me, Maybe

by DoubleApple



Series: Drarry Discord Drabbles [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy is Clueless About Muggle Things, Drarry Discord Writers Corner Drabble Challenge, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mild Smut, Phone Sex, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 18:24:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14982959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleApple/pseuds/DoubleApple
Summary: “Because you’ve gone off to Australia for your poncy conference, and you’re too far away to Floo or Apparate, and the Ministry won’t allow us an extra international Portkey just because you’re especially horny."





	Call Me, Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the June round -- "Lumos," 429 words -- of the Drarry Discord Challenge. Thanks to [magpie_fngrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magpie_fngrl) for hosting.

“Lumos!”

“Draco, that won’t work—“

“I can barely hear you, Potter. Lumos!”

“It’s a mobile, Draco, it doesn’t respond to charms. If you refuse to hold the phone up to your ear, you’ve got to turn on the speaker.”

“Muggle nonsense. Lumos!”

“Draco, just tap the screen!”

_(clicking sounds)_

“Not with your wand, Malfoy, tap it with your finger. Just the tip.”

“I’ll give you just the tip— oh! There. Okay, now what?”

“Hit the button that looks like a speaker.”

“Potter, for fuck’s sake. What’s a _speaker_?”

“Upper right corner. A little horn with three curved lines.”

_(more clicking)_

“With your finger, not your wand!”

——

“Please remind me why I have this godforsaken piece of plastic next to my head.”

“Because you’ve gone off to Australia for your poncy conference, and you’re too far away to Floo or Apparate, and the Ministry won’t allow us an extra international Portkey just because you’re especially horny.”

“Hmph. Well, I suppose it _is_ difficult to have phone sex via owl post. All those feathers and such.”

“Ha! So, what are you wearing, Malfoy?”

“The same black pants I always wear. We live together. You see them when you do our laundry every other Tuesday.”

“Draco, you’re supposed to be creative. Make something up.” 

“Oh. Well, in that case, I am wearing lacy red panties and a studded leather collar.”

“...”

“Are you laughing?” 

“No. Definitely not.”

“Are you touching yourself?”

“Mmmmph…”

“Potter! You’re wanking to the mental image of me in panties?”

“Maybe?”

“ _Potter!_ ”

——

“I love to scandalise you, Draco.”

“Oh, is that the word you use? For coming in under 60 seconds while whispering filthy things you’d like to do to me? In _panties_?”

“Okay, Mr. Propriety. Tell me what you’d do if I were there.”

“I’d like to… er, fall asleep with you? I’d be big spoon.”

“Draco. You’ve already got off tonight, haven’t you?”

“Um, yes. About 20 minutes before you called. I know we agreed we’d wait for each other, Potter, but did you know about Muggle television? They have the most amazing channels.”

“You’ve been watching dirty movies in your hotel room? _Without me?!_ ”

“Wait, I can turn that film back on! I’d have another go if you give me a moment…”

——

“It’s late, Malfoy. We should ring off.”

“You first.”

“Do you know how to do it? It’s the red button at the bottom—“

“Of course I know how, Potter.” 

“All right. I love you, you tosser.”

“I love you too, you monstrous prat.”

“Good night, Draco.”

 _(whispering at the phone)_ “Nox!”


End file.
